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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in New Balance's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, December 22nd, 2004
6:50 pm
I'm Back
Ok.. its been a long pause in my journal so here's a catch-up.

-I finished my thesis at University of Washington. It took me three years to finish the program.. and it sort of ended like any other quarter.. no party or celebration

-I worked the summer at the Muckleshoot Casino as a parking valet-- it will probably be the most relaxing and enjoyable job I'll ever have... made a lot of money and made some great friends.

-When to my 10 year class reunion in GA.. This was a blast on of my co-workers from the Casino travelled to GA with me.

During the month of June I was probably in my best shape ever since 2001. My weight actually reached 209 and in great cardio shape.

-don't remember too much

-took a job with an environmental consultanting firm here in Seattle.
-took a vacation with my roommate to Vancover, Canada


-don't remember too much

-went to GA for Thanksgivings

-over worked, stressed and frustrated with job
Saturday, May 1st, 2004
3:05 pm
Ten week challenge
I forgot to give the update on my "ten week challenge". Well the job got in the way of me following the challenge as it was designed... the exercise and nutitional plan doesn't work when your job involves exercise and you cannot eat on the job. Working at the casino, i get no breaks and cannot eat.. the shifts are 8 hours.. I know that this is against the law but its on an indian reservation and I don't think US laws apply. Anyways the irony is that I have lost weight. The challenge ended today and I'm not at my goal of 210 but I'm around 219 even though I stop exercising and eating right about a month ago. I'm starting a new challenge today which runs through June 12. The goal is to be at 210 by then... the plan is to reduce calorie intake by not stopping at taco bell or mcdonalds on the way home from work..
2:46 pm
Spring is here in full bloom
Ok. Well, some have wondered what happened to me. I did land a job with a valet company (Silver Cloud Valet) here in Seattle. Checkout there website: http://www.silvercloudvalet.com

Its ok, nothing all that special. Since my tenture there I've quickly moved up the ranks. Now I'm working at one of thier high volume locations - the Muckleshoot Casino. Sort of testing the waters whether this job is ok to have as a Christian. For me I don't see a conflict of interest being a Christian and working on location at a Casino... at first for some reason I thought that my fellow Christians, might. Most of the patrons have the attitude that their coming for fun and are generally happy even after a losing... The cool think about this job is that it has opened up doors for a permanent job in my field, which is natural resources and given me an opporunity to work a minimum wage job (I'm 27 and this is my first job). Yesterday I applied for a fisheries biologist position with the Muckleshoot Tribe. I assume that I will be given an interview sometime in the future. A couple of weeks ago I outlined my goals... which are below.. amazingly the position with the tribes is a nice fit for the life I want to live.

….all about what Johnny wants

-Where I want to live
• Live within 15 miles of work
• Live within 20 miles of church
• Not in the South

-What I want from my job
Type of Job
• Diversity of project/activities
• Interaction with outside clients/people
• Travel to other places for work

-Benefits of Job
• Job that allows me to actually take a vacation during the year
• Has a wellness plan
• Salary of 50K
• Retirement benefits: 401K (TSP)

-What are my long-term goals?
• Appointment in an agency that works with implementing policy or designing policy
• Would like to do a rotation working in DC

• Not overweight and age well through living a active lifestyle
• Would like to have lived in several places
• Involvement in my local community at a later age 50s

-What are my short-term goals?
• Job that requires me to work with others in a team atmosphere
• Job that pulls me closer to working with policy rather than aquatics

• Get a new car
• Buy property

Activities that I enjoy
Hiking, urban setting, dressing up rather than dressing down, museums, community activities, politics, news, exercise and working out
Saturday, March 13th, 2004
1:04 pm
Its tough getting a job
Ok, I've been looking for more than a week now and still no job. As you may remember I'm looking for a blue-collar job in the hotel industry or as as valet attendant. After applying to at least ten hotels I've only been granted on interview. The manager told me that she choice someone else over me because he was willing to work on Sunday morning and she might need to schedule me during that time even though the position was advertised as being only on friday and saturdays. just wanted to rant about this. I'm hoping to get picked up by the http://www.wac.net/ this would be my ideal place to work.
Thursday, March 11th, 2004
5:33 am
Master's Project Presentation
Yesterday I presented my master's project to my "wise" advisors. I'm really glad that is whole process is coming to a conclusion.. its been wearing me out.
Thursday, March 4th, 2004
8:02 am
all quite on the front
Nothing to report out here in the west.. in the news there's much talk about gay marriage since oregon starting issuing marriage certificates yesterday--today on the cover of the newspapers its reported that some couples from Seattle have driven down to get married. As far as i'm concerned let same sex couples get marriages. Talking amongst my friends its seems Christians have a biggest beef with the issue. As a Christian with a history of homosexual acts I don't see what's the big problem.. all sorts of other "sinner" are getting married and no one is protesting against them what about people that lie, abuse drugs or steal should they too not be allowed to get married. My decision to not entertain my homosexual preference is my own due to my choosing to align my morals with the Bible...as Christians should take protest acts of sin around us or rather spend our time working with those that actually want to better understand the messages of the Bible.
Monday, March 1st, 2004
10:26 pm
Almost bedtime
Well, today has been quite long.. started with a morning jog around green lake with Todd.. this weekly jog is getting easier each week. Went to the office today for about 4 hours.. talked with K but other than that nothing exciting happened.. i'm thinking that i'll work at home tommorrow again. Took a nap, did some reading and then went to the IMA for about an hour. Guess I can read a little of Wild at Heart before going to bed..
Sunday, February 29th, 2004
7:13 pm
I just ingested about 70 grams of protein.. in the form of a shake.. i don't think that the body can actually digest that much at one time..

This morning went on a 6 mile walk/jog at Discovery Park.. it was awesome even though i couldn't see the mountains because of the clouds. I've posted the link in case you want to check it out


Today was my last day assisting in the kids class at church.. thank God cause I'm ready to be back in regular service.. not watching the Oscars' my roommate is using the living room to have a meeting right now... :(
Friday, February 27th, 2004
4:55 pm
Turning in Job Application
ok.. i turned in an application for the valet job.. I really don't think i'll get it because a guy working their said that the job has been open for awhile because they want to get someone who has valet experience. The manager has to be crazy if he thinks that someone with experience would apply for a part time job that's only 10 hours a week. anyway it was a good experience for me just applying for a job. I'm 27 years old and i've never applied for a job before--it was really scary but easy... i used my best hand writing.. all caps.
9:17 am
The Passion
So last night i went to go see the movie Passion. I'd say that its a must see for christians and believers in Jesus however i wouldn't go see it with anyone who is overly emotional and i highly recommend that kids who don't understand what happened to Jesus to see it--after the movie i saw a guy that must have been 19 that was really confused and upset because he didn't realize what crucification was all about.

The movie really isn't all that big out here.. the ticket guy said that they moved the movie from its largest screen because of poor ticket sales on wednesday.. this isn't surprising since only 5% of the people in Washington go to church occasional.. so why would they pay money to hear about Jesus--in our screening there were about 100 people in the theater with about half from my church and campus. One guy that believes in Jesus but doesn't consider himself a christian showed up in protest by not seeing movie he thought it was wrong to make a story that's about love into a movie about hate.. I think its wrong to charge $9 to see a movie.. the fact of the matter is that the Jews really did hate Jesus--they did say let his blood be on us and our children.

I only heard of two people that left during the movie because of the violence... a lady sitting next to me didn't make it through the flogging scene which was just the beginning of the beatings and a guy sitting behind me was crying so much that his friend told him that he should leave. The movie doesn't hold back when showing the physical, emotional and spiritual suffering of Jesus.. the height for me was the many scenes in which Jesus was struggling to carry a cross.. these give a whole new meaning to take up your cross and carry it daily.

I think that its good for believers to sit through the violent movie.. for many it will renew understanding or for most clarify the messages conveyed by the gospels--by far it does a better job at depicting the actual events than other materials. Nonetheless, I felt like the movie missed the most important point that his dying didn't save us from our sins but rather by his rising... I assume this was left out because it would force the movie to go into issues of baptism. As with most movies i recommend reading the book before seeing the movie :)
Thursday, February 26th, 2004
3:25 pm
Cloudy Day in Seattle
Just got back from Fremont.. my office is in Fremont but i usually, 95% of the time work at home.. being there all of 4.5 hours today reminded me of why i work at home.. with me even being there i was still communicating with my coworker on the phone and email..

Other than that i'm going to see the Passion tonight.. i'll let you know, what i think later on.
Wednesday, February 25th, 2004
8:17 pm
What's up with me
To sum up today.. the ten week challenge is going great.. so far my body has been doing a little shifting game.. at the start my lean mass was 174.42 and fat mass (I know this sound gross)was 55.08 as of today the lean mass si 173.66 and fat mass 54.84 So I have lost a total of about one pound in 9 days.. i guess i'm not breaking any records here.

Today my advisor sent me an email and told me to stop referring to my thesis as a thesis and start calling it a professional paper. I guess this is the next sign of me getting knocked off my throne. I'm starting to look for a part time job to help manage my finances next quarter.. i'm still not even sure if I'm funded or not. There a valet job available down the street from me.. it calls for only friday and saturday nights-- which would be great since i need about $300 a month to help balance my finances. What do you think about doing a job like a valet?
Tuesday, February 17th, 2004
10:25 am
locked in
this morning locked my keys in my car when i returned home for the gym... that's the second time i've done that.. i think that i'm just so out of it from the physical exhaustion that i just cannot think. anyways the tow truck guy was happy to unlock it for $55.

the reminder of the day i'm hoping to get the stats done for my project.. let's see how that goes.
Monday, February 16th, 2004
7:05 pm
saying goodbye
today I had the opporunity to hangout with a friend that's living the US for awhile. It seems he's just feedup with the place and wishes to be in a place that people aren't as materialistic and concerned with less important things in life. My personal opinion is that he's running away from his problems.. seattle really isn't a great place to live if you'd don't make at least 80,000 a year. It was sad to say goodbye.. seeing so many of my friends leaving leads me to think about leaving also.. the land of milk and honey really hasn't turned out to be so great afterall. Before we departed Matt told me that he really enjoyed our friends and wishes the best for me.. I returned the gesture and really hope that I can find friends that are out of the box like Matt.
Saturday, February 14th, 2004
12:21 pm
About me.
Took one of those test online.. its seems to do a good job of figuring me out with percentages.. maybe i should explore some of the jobs that it suggested.. none really sound all that interesting except flight attendent

Extroverted (E) 50% Introverted (I) 50%
Realistic (S) 75% Imaginative (N) 25%
Intellectual (T) 65.63% Emotional (F) 34.38%
Easygoing (P) 59.46% Organized (J) 40.54%
Your type is: ESTP
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Took one of those test online.. its seems to do a good job of figuring me out with percentages.. maybe i should explore some of the jobs that it suggested.. none really sound all that interesting except flight attendent

<div align="center"><!--50 75 65.63 59.46--> <table style="color: black; background: #eeeeee" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0"> <tr> <td> <div align="center"> <table style="color: black; background: #dddddd" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0"> <tr> <td> <div align="center"> Extroverted (E) 50% Introverted (I) 50%<br> Realistic (S) 75% Imaginative (N) 25%<br> Intellectual (T) 65.63% Emotional (F) 34.38%<br> Easygoing (P) 59.46% Organized (J) 40.54%<br> </div> </td> </tr> </table> <table style="color: black; background: #eeeeee" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0"> <tr> <td> <div align="center"> Your type is: <b><font size="+3">ESTP</font></b><br> </div> </td> </tr> </table> <table style="color: black; background: #dddddd" border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" width="100%"> <tr> <td width="280quot;>> <div align="left"> You are a Promoter, possible professions include - real estate broker , chef, land developer, physical therapist, stock broker, news reporter, fire fighter, promoter, entrepreneur, pilot, budget analyst, insurance agent, management consultant, franchise owner, electrical engineer, aircraft mechanic, technical trainer, EEG technologist, radiological technician, emergency medical tech., corrections officer, flight attendant. </div> </td> </tr> </table> </div> </td> </tr> </table> <a href="http://similarminds.com/career.html">Take Free Career Inventory Personality Test</a></div>
11:57 am
Hi I'm back
Just got back from the IMA this morning. Had a great workout with weights and cardio. Last week I decided to do a contract with myself.. with the goal to be better at tracking of what's going on in my life... the contract follows:

Ten Week Challenge

I, ---, hereby commit to ten weeks of daily, intense exercise and to self control when it comes to my eating. It is the goal of this contract to create an interesting, fun and safe environment for me to train and move toward a healthier body image over a ten week period.

The terms of this agreement includes approximately one hour of daily exercise whereby I am focused on challenging my endurance and stamina in the pursuit of training to participate in the Vancouver half marathon on May 2, 2004. The conditioning and strength training will be guided by the 2004 Personal Trainer series published in Muscle Media while cardiovascular workouts will consist of jogging, stair stepping or rowing.

In addition, I commit to discontinue the consumption of all foods two or more hours prior to my bedtime; this effort will require me to be conscious of when and why I eat. I will, to the best of my ability, simply eat to satisfy my nutritional needs as opposed to my emotional needs1. I will also do my best to make healthful food choices. Under no circumstances will I exceed 4000 calories a day during this ten week period regardless of the situation or the nature of the temptation.

Furthermore, as an eyewitness to every event in my life, I recognize that I have rarely if ever been able to attain this level of focus for a continuous period of ten or more weeks while physically training for a sport’s event. In an effort to keep my focus, I agree to make journal entries relevant to nutritional and exercise progress at:


I realize that this contract is solely with myself and no other parties are liable. This contract carries no external awards, penalties or eternal punishments other than those associated with the reflection of my character. I reserve the right to revise this contract at anytime and without any waiting period in the presence of any witness listed below. This contract may be void with the diagnosis of any chronic disease by a medical doctor, an act of war on US soil or any end times event as described in the book of Revelations.

any comments about my contract. Other than that I'm going to a Valentine's Social tonight. I asked a friend from Church to be my date. She was so excited.. we should have a blast.. we'll have to stay far far away from the truly dating couples!!

Last week I didn't post much in the journal.. i was being lazy.. didn't do much at all last week but wondered a little downtown and used some time to do some personal reading. It was a good time to relax and recover.

I need to learn how to insert pics in livejournal (anyone have any ideas of where I should look to find this or have info on how to do this).
Sunday, February 8th, 2004
7:22 pm
My day in review
This morning went on a walk over at the park by Sand Point.. mainly walked for about 30mins..

Got to church a little late for the kids class but it was ok because the morning devo hadn't started yet. Worked with the 2 year olds during the entire service.. we made a stick figure of moses for the craft.. for some reason we glued huge cotton ball on the head for hair. Didn't realize that moses was known for having a lot of hair. Anyway, the three hours with the kids really wore me out..

After church went to TGI Friday's with my Bible Talk... J, L, JOB and myself. It was great.. J and L are getting married adn that's all they like to talk about...

Got home cleaned up the kitchen.. then went to the IMA were i did legs, bis and triceps.. Great workout..

Going to a Grammy party in 1/2 an hour..

I guess it has been a very busy day
Saturday, February 7th, 2004
7:07 pm
wow i'm tired
Today has been a lot of fun.. went for a walk in the neighborhood this morning.. it looks great some people have finished some home improvement projects even though its winter.... or maybe i just hadn't noticed before. After my walk went to the democratic caucus at the library.. it took way too much time.. but it was worth it.. afterall its we're so lucky to live in a place where we can vote and i really wanted to vote for my candidate.

I changed the brake pads on my car today.. it was the first time for me so it took 2 hours.. i found a great website that shows you how to do it... i saved about $150 doing it myself. After the backbreaking job.. I had to hurry over to married couples place.. it was date night for them so i babysat their son.. he is such a blast we played mario-cart, made hot chocolate and pasta.. it was great.

Planning to rest a bit before heading to the gym for some cardio..
7:13 am
Living in Denial
This morning I woke up at 5am.. don't know why but i've been an early bird as of recent. After surfing the net and thinking about what i could be doing that was productive.. i picked up my copy of dr. phil's weight solution book.. I started reading the book early last fall-- made it to about chapter 3 and stopped reading. Even though i didn't complete the book and had stopped reading it i told people that i was in dr. phil's "booty camp". I wish that i had kept reading the book because the chapter from where i left off helps me understand my weight control problem so much more.

The truth of the matter is that i have always been fat. Except for a brief period of time between the ages of 16-21, otherwise I had always been referred to as husky or overweight. My late year's high school were some of the most productive time in my life... i seemed to have it together.. i basically did what i wanted to do and didn't worry about other people.. in the process i lost a lot of weight by spending endless hours at the high school track and denying myself to eatting anything after 6pm... When I started Tuskegee University in 1994, I was slim but soon gained weight when in the first 3 months. My response to that was to stop eatting and that got the weight off but it was unhealthy so i enrolled in a exercise classes and often jogged around campus in the mornings. The story changed when I got to graduate school here at UW.. After becoming a Christian in 1998 my reason to stay slim which was mainly to look hot in the gay scene no longer existed.. so i somehow began the habitat of overeating which has seen caught up with me.

Being a Christian I don't give much conscious thought to the fact that I am fat. I am never really ridiculed for it, never feel left out because of it, and never really had self-esteem issues with it since after all the focus as a Christian isn't yourself. Inside I knew that I am fat and not as attractive as I could be, so I adjusted my attitude to be all bluster and laughs, a much easier task than changing the way I live my life. Externally I give the appearance that i live a healthy life.. i buy reduced fat products have memberships at two separate gyms and sign up for 1/2 marathons that I don't actually complete while at the same time i sneak food at night and pickup donuts on my way home from church.. Why?

The last couple of years of life all kind of seem like a blur the years in graduate school have been adding up and the pounds on the scale also have been adding up also. It's funny how the mind works-- I constantly buy bigger clothes without really questioning it. I seemed to have myself convinced that I needed the bigger clothes because I am a growing boy and afterall i workout so the extra room is for the muscles, mind you I'm in my late 20's, my growing should have been long done. Lately I feel like my waist has expanded and mind narrowed. Denial and blindness has prevented me from taking actions. I've started to unconsciously avoid the camera, wear layers of clothes--sweater vest are my favorite and buying jackets too big for me in an effort to make myself look smaller. Reality is that I need to wake up and stop impuluse eating and paying attention to what i'm doing.. I have a friends that has called me out on impulsive eating .. when he sees me doing it-he asks do you know that you are eating and what you are eating.. most of the time i didn't even realize that I was eating.
Friday, February 6th, 2004
5:23 am
Bright and Shine
Well, I've been up for almost a hour now.. cannot sleep so i guess I'll just head to the gym at 6. not really up to anything.
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